You’d think that I would have moved on by now. But I still find myself crying over you & hating myself for causing you so much unnecessary pain when I promised you love. I’m really sorry. I asked for death a lot & that night I honestly thought that there’d be a massacre or that the gunman would have picked this room that’s by the road & shot me in my sleep. & other than death & fear, you were the only one who never left my mind.

落叶还是要归根……
I miss Singapore & schooling in Singapore so badly :(

在新加坡始终不开心, 脾气暴躁, 心烦得要命, 是因为每天都想见你一次面, 或听到你的声音. 天天想着逃跑, 想逃到英国来. 而上了飞机又开始流泪, 心沉下去了, 因为这么一走就一定见不到你, 就不可能有机会在你身边. 而这份感情还是依然这么深厚. 实话说, 没有得到你的关心, 你的爱, 去到哪里都不会快乐. 别说我没试过, 我已经用了万千方百计的方法来把你给忘掉, 始了忘掉这份感情. 最后还是不成, 算了吧. 我的心已经属于你的了… 就希望有一天, 你会快点回来, 因为有你在…. 生活过得真不错…

ok please don’t mind the shitty english i found this on facebook (of all things):

“Long Distance Relationships aren’t always ideal. In fact, they’re really tough. You spend countless of hours just talking through a phone or through a screen. You can’t see the person when you want to or when you most need them.. You can’t hug, you can’t hold hands, you can’t kiss. You lose the intimacy in a physical sense. But then, Your relationship becomes based on each other and nothing else.

You learn to communicate, because a long-distance relationship without communication is nothing.

You learn to trust, because you can’t always see or know everything the person is doing.

You learn to sacrifice, because someone’s always going to lose a bit of sleep from the time difference.

And lastly, you learn to appreciate.

So often, we take for granted the people and relationships in our lives because we think they’ll always be there.

But When you only have a limited amount of time with a person,

you learn to appreciate and cherish every single moment you have with them.

When you finally see that person after weeks or months of seeing them only through a computer screen,

It is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

When you’ve waited for something so long and you finally have it,

you cherish it. The key to a long-distance relationship is faith.

If both of you are not willing to give up,

If both of you are willing to stand up and still try after every time one of you or both of you fall.

“Distance isn’t for the fearful, it’s for the bold “.

It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for the little time with the one they love.

It’s for knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.” 

Other times I wonder why certain people exist in my everyday life……..

Sometimes I envy the people around you because they get to interact with you & see you everyday even if they didn’t want/need to & here I am all the way at the other end of the world wondering how you’re doing & wishing & wanting & hoping.