Sometimes we experience a terrible dryness in our spiritual life. We feel no desire to pray, don’t experience God’s presence, get bored with worship services, and even think that everything we have ever believed about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit is little more than a childhood fairy tale.
Then it is important to realize that most of these feelings and thoughts are just feelings and thoughts, and that the Spirit of God dwells beyond our feelings and thoughts. It is a great grace to be able to experience God’s presence in our feelings and thoughts, but when we don’t, it does not mean that God is absent. It often means that God is calling us to a greater faithfulness. It is precisely in those times of spiritual dryness that we must hold on to our spiritual discipline so that we can grow into new intimacy with God.

Henry Nouwen (via myoutpouring)




I wonder if Jesus ever looked at his disciples when they were doubting and going astray, smiled, and thought to himself “they have no idea what they are about to do for my kingdom”.

And then I wonder if Jesus looks at me in my moments of sin and weakness, smiles, and thinks to himself “she has no idea what she is about to do for my kingdom”.





via TumbleBoard for iPhone and iPad

Of course it’s scary. I know there’s zero chance or near zero of you ever coming back. I don’t know for certain if we will ever spend the rest of our lives together, growing old together. But despite that warning and the flashing lights & the fear, I can’t just tell myself to stop immediately and heck care about you. I could do so, I’ve done so in the past. But those feelings were different. No promises were made. I love you, and I hope that whatever happens, it’s gonna hurt like a fresh band aid being ripped off my bare wound but you know what? I’d go through that many times. I’d live. Because I love you & I can’t just stop these feelings. Loving you is my personal choice, I know what I’m getting myself into. Loving you despite knowing that you might never ever love me back. It’s okay. It hurts sometimes. But loving you is an act of will. It’s not something that I can control anymore.

hearts made of steel
engraved a love so real
intertwined a vow,
said, “forever yours” 
fear took faith to war
wounded the young heart
said, ”never again”
love walked in,
took the other by the hand
said, “try again”
both restless hearts
yet adamant as steel 
& none dared whisper
so i decided to condense a story of three hearts involved. a boy, a girl, & a necklace. when they were very much in love, he bought her a necklace, despite needing to limp in a cast. he put it on her, in a dark quiet room, filled with love, and hopeful promises. the necklace engraved her favourite animals of all time, & also the words “forever yours”. it wasn’t an explicit promise, but their hearts knew. oh, how their hearts knew alright. their love was genuine, real, pure, when she became frightened. her faith in him was challenged, she wanted forever with him, but just the thought of not being able to assure that as a fact scared her to death. they parted many times, (& she instigated all of them), & one day she blew her last chance. 

their hearts were adamant, and steel was what the necklace was made of. he loved her so, despite her worries, and she kept to her stubborn answers, despite his begging.
love walked in on her one day, & you know the sayings on how love is powerful & how love conquers all? she felt that. she finally felt that. love told her to try again, and she did.
both hearts behaved like steel, adamant and strong. but not towards each other anymore. hers was adamant towards him, in disbelief that his had already been set on anything but her. 

dead confused, she posed the biggest question, after the longest time. she was scared to know the answer, if any. & so she asked, softly,  ”remember that promise your heart made to mine? where did that disappear to?” 
he didn’t have an answer, and realised that a promise was lost. not broken no, she didn’t believe he would ever break promises. but gone, lost, in the midst of all his other thoughts. 
better, not bitter? none of them dared to think of that question. one had to perpetually wear a smile with a frail heart that can’t break promises for anyone’s sake; the other had already found a new one, to start afresh, to love from scratch, to feel a different kind of hurt, from a different love, with a different girl.

this is the story of a girl, who was too afraid to love; & the story of a boy, who was madly in love.
In essence, this is the story, of a boy & a girl, who loved each other with all their hearts, at different points in time. 
he had locked & sealed that part of him away, & she has opened hers to everything that love has to offer - pain, & joy. 

Tell me
The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart