Sometimes we experience a terrible dryness in our spiritual life. We feel no desire to pray, don’t experience God’s presence, get bored with worship services, and even think that everything we have ever believed about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit is little more than a childhood fairy tale.
Then it is important to realize that most of these feelings and thoughts are just feelings and thoughts, and that the Spirit of God dwells beyond our feelings and thoughts. It is a great grace to be able to experience God’s presence in our feelings and thoughts, but when we don’t, it does not mean that God is absent. It often means that God is calling us to a greater faithfulness. It is precisely in those times of spiritual dryness that we must hold on to our spiritual discipline so that we can grow into new intimacy with God.
I wonder if Jesus ever looked at his disciples when they were doubting and going astray, smiled, and thought to himself “they have no idea what they are about to do for my kingdom”.
And then I wonder if Jesus looks at me in my moments of sin and weakness, smiles, and thinks to himself “she has no idea what she is about to do for my kingdom”.
Of course it’s scary. I know there’s zero chance or near zero of you ever coming back. I don’t know for certain if we will ever spend the rest of our lives together, growing old together. But despite that warning and the flashing lights & the fear, I can’t just tell myself to stop immediately and heck care about you. I could do so, I’ve done so in the past. But those feelings were different. No promises were made. I love you, and I hope that whatever happens, it’s gonna hurt like a fresh band aid being ripped off my bare wound but you know what? I’d go through that many times. I’d live. Because I love you & I can’t just stop these feelings. Loving you is my personal choice, I know what I’m getting myself into. Loving you despite knowing that you might never ever love me back. It’s okay. It hurts sometimes. But loving you is an act of will. It’s not something that I can control anymore.
their hearts were adamant, and steel was what the necklace was made of. he loved her so, despite her worries, and she kept to her stubborn answers, despite his begging.
dead confused, she posed the biggest question, after the longest time. she was scared to know the answer, if any. & so she asked, softly, ”remember that promise your heart made to mine? where did that disappear to?”
this is the story of a girl, who was too afraid to love; & the story of a boy, who was madly in love.
The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart